Reblog: The Wanderer, God, and The Devil Chat Over Coffee At Plaza Senayan

13 Oct

Cerita ini, gw copas plek dari multiply nya bang Henry Manampiring a.k.a Newsplatter *here*. Iya, sebelum akhirnya pindah ke WordPress dia menulis disana.. dan karena gw ngefans ama dia kayak ABG ngefans ama kakak kelasnya tulisan ini sungguh layak dibaca banyak orang tapi diposting dari tahun 2009 (liat donk, FB masih ngehits tampaknya) alangkah baiknya kalau di re-blog.

Hope you enjoy it as I was =).. Oh no, ‘enjoy’ is underrated! I LOVE this piece

Devil: ….the moment you forget to bring heaven to the world now is the moment I bring HELL on earth!


The Wanderer finally spotted God and the Devil, both were already seated comfortably and chatting over coffee at a cafe at Plaza Senayan. The Devil looks a bit like scruffy Johnny Depp, in unassuming sneakers and T-shirt. God looked very much like Amitabh Bachan, as easy as Sunday morning in light green polo, which means standing out among the crowd at the cafe, although He could easily be seen as another Indian from the market research industry.

Wanderer: “Morning! Thanks for inviting me to drop by. By the way, God, using Blackberry to message me is quite a touch, if I may say.”

God: “I know, it’s nifty little thing isn’t it? (playing around with his Blackberry). If only people would use this more to connect with Me

Devil: “Ha! I have the Facebook application working in my favour you know. Last time I saw a married couple sitting together and both were busy with FB apps on their BB. I barely need to do my job anymore. Maybe you should open a Facebook account mate….”

God: “Thought about it. Changed My mind when I guessed people would just add Me to add their ‘oh-I-have-so-many-friends collection without really wanting to connect with Me…”

Wanderer: “Um…guys…it’s not exactly very often I got the chance to sit together with both God and Devil. May I ask you some questions?”

God: “Sure lad! Don’t you want some coffee first?”

Wanderer: “Of course, I will just… (pfft! A cup of hazelnut latte just appeared on the table)

Wanderer: “…right….omnipotent and omniscient. Is this legal? I don’t steal anything from the café right?”

God: “Naah, I made sure it went into their billing system, don’t worry. Unlike your friend HERE….”

Devil: “Hey! Two free espressos will not bring down the world economy…talk to the Wall Street execs mate….”

God: “So what do you want to know lad, since we are here?”

Wanderer: “So how does it feel being, well, YOU?”

Devil: “mate…” (putting down his empty cup) “…it actually quite sucks in my case…”

“You will never know the feeling of being blamed for other people’s follies for eternity. FOR ETERNITY! Somebody lusted after his neighbor’s wife, oh, it’s MY fault. You can’t resist the bribe, and again, MY fault. You drink too much and run over a stupid poodle, yep, my fault also. Yeah, blame it all on me”

Wanderer: “…I guess that sucks alright…”

Devil: “The only highlight on my career was when Al Pacino played me in The Devil’s Advocate. Man, I wish I could be as cool as the Devil like HIS version. He’s the man, ain’t he?” (Johnny Depp-looking Devil cracked a slanted smile)

God: “Actually, My situation is not that different. But of course people don’t dare to blame it on me blatantly. One of the privileges I have being the Top Banana of the universe…”

“Nevertheless, people use different version of blame – by abusing MY writing”

Wanderer: “Huh? What do you mean with abusing Your WRITING?”

God: “People would say ‘it’s been written’ for mishaps that they themselves are accountable for – as if it was I who ‘WROTE’ it”

“Somebody died on the operation table. Instead of investigating what really happened, you just said ‘it’s been written’”

“You cut down all the trees and you suffer from landslides and flood. Oh, ‘it’s been written’”

“I guess both the Devil and Me are victims of humans’ immaturity – you guys should just grow up and learn to take more responsibility of the events in your life and stop dumping everything on the Devil or Me”

Devil: “Well said! I will drink to that!” (while conjuring third cup of espresso with a wave of his right hand)

God: “Another thing that bugged Me is your obsession with the after-life”

“You pursue ‘reward-points’ to enter My place with such craze even credit-card issuers fail to match. So are you being kind and doing good out of sincerity or with your eyes on your piece of property in heaven? Are you praying to Me because you truly love Me or do you have a self-serving agenda?”

Devil: “*snicker*, that’s the only good thing about being the Evil One – nobody would suck up to me, haha. Except those few weird Satanists – man…what a bunch of weirdo”

God: “My only worry is, when you are fixated on the after-life, you miss the beautiful opportunities of your everyday life….and that’s your loss”

“Remember the chap Jesus? Good lad he was, one of the few who ‘get it’, you know”

“Most of you missed the point when he said ‘the Kingdom of God is here’. You guys actually have the power to bring the Kingdom of God to your lives – NOW. Starting from something as simple as ‘be nice to others’”

“Don’t just spend your time praying, chanting, singing and wait for your turn to enter My place. Instead bring a taste of My place to the world now. Fight injustice, poverty, global warming, species extinction, etc – NOW”

Devil: “Mate, me and your friend God here may not agree on many things. But He is right on this one. The moment you forget to bring heaven to the world now is the moment I bring HELL on earth! Trust me, the eternal fire and brimstone is not as fun as watching you pitiful humans wreak havoc among yourselves during your lifetime”

Wanderer: “whoa….heavy stuff alrite. Good thing I have this coffee with me”

Devil (finishing his third cup of espresso): “So you see, mate, it’s not easy being US, me being blamed for all. But I got my pay-off actually enjoying you wasting your opportunity in life. God here is not so lucky – He has to be concerned!”

Wanderer: “…so, what IS the secret of life then?”

God: “Lad, THAT is something everyone must discover by him/herself. But there are some handy tips that may help you along the way….”

“…first, watch your weight and cholesterol level….”

Wanderer: “say WHAT?”

God: “Seriously, looking after your health is the BEGINNING of all happiness. I blame this on those Greek philosophers, who started the dualism of humanity, ‘body’ and ‘soul’ with the former being degraded while the latter disproportionately worshipped…”

“…yet all your happiness and pleasure is felt through your body. If you kidneys or liver or lungs fail, how happy do you think you could get? So watch your diet, and exercise more…”

Devil: “….yeah, even I only drink moderately. Oh, and I wish Padang cuisine WAS my invention!”

God: “Next, little acts of kindness go a long way. Smile more. Ask somebody ‘how are you’ meaningfully at least ONE person a day. Once in while, remember that you are NOT the centre of the universe. Judge people less. You are no more a saint than your neighbours, don’t be hypocrites…”

“Just remember what I said before….each of you has the power to bring a taste of Heaven on earth to others. Don’t worry about the likes of George Bush Jr. He may have brought misery to countless people with his power, but you could stand up against evil in your everyday life and surrounding. Millions of you can bring heaven on earth today – don’t wait for afterlife”

Wanderer: “Got it. Hope I remember all this under the avalanche of daily work duties. I am just human you know. Thanks to both of you. I need to get going now. How much do I have to pay?”

Devil: “Don’t worry about it – I’ll take it. My Visa is not maxed out yet, ha”

Wanderer: “Hey thanks. I will see you from time to time, right? You guys are still hanging around here?”

God: “Yeah, we are going to amuse ourselves discussing the latest mess in Middle East”

Wanderer: “Well gentlemen, you have a good one then. Bye!”

God and Devil: “You too. Bye and take care”

And the Wanderer left Amitabh Bachan-looking God and Johnny Depp-looking Devil at a café at Plaza Senayan.

..dan sesungguhnya ya,, pria humoris itu buanyak, pria cerdas juga. Tapi pria humoris dengan selera joke yang cerdas itu jarang. Kemudian ditambah kriteria “bisa menulis” (dengan baik, benar, dan menarik)  itu…langka! =D…dan sialnya biasanya pria2 macam gitu yang membuat gw tergila2.. X__X *Hail Mas Mraz dan Om Piring*


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Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Re-Blog


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